wonderland?

It's been a long, long time.

2008-07-25T04:09:16Z

I haven't really posted in a long time.

There's nothing much to say about my life.

Well, there are a few things.

>> I'm going to college in the fall! How exciting. Only, I'm going to college at my safety. But they offered me a scholarship and benefits that I couldn't refuse.
>> Obviously, I now have a high school diploma.
>> I got a job/internship at my dream grad school... doing research. And I'm paid. It's really quite exciting. <3 I can't wait to see you, dearest grad school, in four years. I will get in.
>> I still tutor. Haha, the one thing I can't escape! But the pay is excellent now. Though the kids are brattier than ever... I liked working as a volunteer better. The kids were nicer, at least.
>> I miss my house and the TV. Living with roommates = suckage city.

paradox_y @ 2006-12-10T21:31:00

2006-12-11T04:31:20Z

People are drifting away from me.
And I don't know how to stop it.

paradox_y @ 2006-08-18T14:18:00

2006-08-18T21:24:20Z

I am officially in love with +Gothic Pink+ by Tommy Heavenly6. :] It's amazing. I love it. :D

School begins in a week, and I have yet to finish my summer reading. (Ooops) On a better note, I have gotten SAT and SAT II review books. I'm chomping through the math one. >>; I can do it! (I think.) Anyways, moving on, I'm in a great deal of pain. I can't type very well do to burning my finger with steam. How sad. And it hurts more since steam has so much stored potential energy. :[

Anyhoo, I'm sad about going back to school. I feel like my childhood is slowly slipping away. I'm not ready for college! Not at all... :[

I saw this amazing picture of blue skies. It makes me feel all happy and whatnot. Really happy...

Blue Skies

How I wish my days were carefree like that.

Take my hand, and we'll make it, I swear.

2006-05-16T03:57:11Z

School's almost out, and I feel like giving up already.

o_o;

I didn't steal your boyfriend... <3

2006-03-26T21:22:41Z

I love that song. Anyways, -yawn- I'm really tired today. Mmmmpfth. Whatever, I need to get off the computer. But I'm so, like, not in the mood for homework. I may just pull an all-nighter tonight or something... <3

Do You Remember?

2006-02-10T05:02:25Z

I'm not sure what to write about in my reflective essay for English. I feel sad whenever I think back about Ohio, them good ol' days. Before high school. Before our clique broke up. Before our graduation dance. Way, way, way back. Think, my Ohio homegrrls.

Do you remember? The times that we would fill up the seats at our table at lunch, because Brittney would try to sit where we were. Do you remember the time she called me "fat"? I remember that time you spilled blueberry crap on my sweatshirt, the Pochacoo(sp?) one that I don't wear anymore. I wish the stains had never come out in the wash, that it would still be there, forever, a sign of those innocent days.

"My Little Pegasus". "Squishie". I don't use these terms anymore, and it makes me sad. Do you remember how I cried that time, and all of you reached out to me, told me that it'd be okay, during the Lock-in?

Do you remember?

Do you remember those hot, sticky days when the library, not the mall, was the phattest place to hang out? And Meijers was like, our version of Wal-Mart? Where Safeway and Albertson's didn't exist, and still don't? When Giant Eagle was still new, when shopping at Hot Topic didn't mean you were a poseur.

Now, one of you, think. Way, way back.

Do you remember? When the two of us still attended All Saints, still pristine and innocent in our plaid skirts? How I said I only swore a few times a year; my mouth is stained black now compared to then. Those early morning bike rides, how we'd laugh and chat, pedaling. When biking to Rossford was like, "HOLY CRAP! WE'RE SO COOL!" and telling off Aaron was like, "Sweet." I'll never forget the time I told him off.

That was so cool. Yeah, and choking on that stupid cough drop. I swear to God, I was choking. Really. That was also the first time I learned I could be so passionate about a video game. xD I'll never forget beating Sheik as Roy on Super Smash Bros Melee. Oh, that rawked my sawks off. Eh. Heh. Heh.

And how I was always Pikachu in the original? I didn't like Pichu in the sequel. He was cute, but utterly useless. -_-; Eh, oh well. Pikachuuuuu~!

Sixth grade, Camp Storer. We totally TPed the boys. HOO-HAH! That was fun. ^^; Even though slightly illegal. We did a cruddy job, though. And how you pushed me into you-know-who? =] Thank you for doing that.

Yeah.

Do you guys remember?

Because I do.

Hahaha...

2006-02-04T00:27:04Z

...the jig is UP.

Thank you Brookie-poo, for making me sound utterly stupid.

Couldn't you have done it somewhere else?

So...

2006-01-26T05:30:24Z

I deleted every entry in this journal. =] Simply because it was too raw, I think, for most people to handle. I don't want to get in trouble for my previous thoughts.

Today, I was talking to a few people about MB. =/ What I heard was depressing; eh. I really do want to be drum major; however, I doubt that this will happen. I also doubt that I will be section leader, too. I'm afraid that being true to myself and my own idealism has dug me this grave.

I don't want to apologize for my integrity. I will never, ever betray my own ideals for someone else. I will never, ever do that, because it's not who I am. However, I wonder if this blatant honesty has cost me the position that I've dreamt about as a freshman. -sighs-

My friends are all, like, "Just try. Don't worry." I know, and I will. But I'll feel utterly embarassed and stupid when I see all my friends be section leaders. And there's Gato, the "has-been". =[

I ought to have more self-confidence, and I do now. It's just that, in a time where teenagers are naturally plagued by insecurities, mine just plague me more. I think I really f-cked up.

Like really f-cked up my opportunity to prove that I can be a leader. I f-cked up, I f-cked up. That's all I really can think about.